Uhm hi!! How was your guys' 4th, ne ???
/in reference to those who celebrate it, kek.

Mine..... uh.. I skipped my sister's wedding
which was a good thing, because my Dad and his neu wife was tharr
and apparently the witch started shit with my Mumz

and I totally would have gotten in her face and did Jerry Springer all up in that shit

but uh! A quick change of subject; SURPRISE!
[or not so surprising to those who know me well .. .]

A bit later after that last journal I wrote
I totally went back with Josh, because I'm a weak weak person who is way too infatuated. hahaha. I am now living in an apartment with he and Brad. mmm mmm.

But! I'm currently with Josh and this dude named Sam
they're partying hardy and playing their hott music on guitar and drums.

Sam apparently was in a local band that started to get big
and had a lot of radio play, and apparently gets a lot of hits on myspace

but he got kicked because he started getting stressed over financial issues, and started a lot of fights, so they're like wtf gtho

so he's all sad panda, because they're apparently playing this huge ass show tonight with thousands of people in Chicago

but he's wanting to start a side-project with Josh that's like progressive/tech meets hard rock, because Josh is completely techy/progressive with his music style and Sam is into the hard rock shit, but Josh abhors mainstream rock [IE. Avenge Sevenfold, Disturbed, etc]. Josh's music that he writes can totally be categorized with Between the Buried and Me, and maybe some Protest to Hero and August Burns Red, but Sam can't completely digest and appreciate it.

So, considering the integrity that Josh desires to maintain, I doubt he'd honestly be interested, thus I believe he's just humoring him while they're kind of impromptu-ing shit at the moment.

I love the ambiance of musicians
I likes it a lot.


But anyways
I again don't have the internet
and when I get on the computer is null and void

because now I don't even live next to a library.

^{After I wrote this journal though, Josh read it and made the comment
how he and Brad have been in the talks of /getting/ the interwebz, so that's kewl.}


Blah blah blah
It's hard to get a job around here, fuggin ghei.
ROFL and apparently, looking at my comments page on mah profile
I haven't confronted or stated anything about my over due commissions!

Well here you go.
Since fucking December I've been living with Josh and Brad, and probably a total of only about six days of those long six months have I been at my Mom's house long enough to congest something to upload on the fucking site [and that's not even considering the fact that I was SEVERELY depressed those days]. I've been without the internet and all of my art programs for six months, and refunds? You're talking to some one that has gone days without fucking food and had to depend on their mother's excess whole vitamins that they sent them in the mail for nutrition because they can't afford shit. If I could afford to refund all my currently due commissions, I'd have the internet, uh? Eight dollars to you might not mean anything, but to someone that's going without like I had been, eight dollars could feed us for a while. This is not something I like talking about because it's shameful to me. I'm very prideful and arrogant, with a pseudo-narcissism complex of sorts

thus something this lowly is something I like to keep under wraps
but since everyone is in such a hanky panky over it, wtf eva.

It's amazing how much I've changed living with Josh and Brad
because such bull shit drama I dismiss so easily, and find it so immature.
If you're trying to purposely get under my skin by threatening to talk ill of me, remember I honestly could care less about dA, it's just the mere fact that I've found some friends that I appreciate and miss a lot, that are the soul reason I return occasionally.

But, forgive me that I had been more concerned about my living arrangements and my day to day life than a few commissions. I've waited more than a year for commissions before without a message and I never bitched once, there's some I'm /STILL/ waiting for, including trades and I don't give a fuck. Trust me, I spent way more than a mere eight dollars on some of them, sooooo. I planned on finishing your commissions when I got the internet and my programs back. If you can't wait, I'm sorry. I am forever in your debt.

Ahahaha

Sorry I just went on a bitch fest
but I was in a really good mood and had to return to a raping on my front page
and thought wow how fucking retarded, throw a God damn fit then, see if I fucking care. Because, uh, how often do I get on dA? And am I going to attempt to sell commissions ever again ..??

ROOOFLLL.......

Anyways, hope you had a good fourth {:
I'm going to return partying hardy and hopefully get my God damn mood back.
I spent way too fucking long on this journal than I expected to.

Hugs and kisses!!


<sup>PS; I hope I don't sound like the bad guy who was unappreciative toward my commissioners. There's some that haven't bitched once and have been completely sweet and nice about it, which I value beyond what words can express. But, it's just, I get defensive once some one tries to purposely go out of their way to demoralize me, for something so trivial that I can't help. I'm genuinely sorry for the time it's taking, but if you want to throw such a fit, then I don't know what to say to help placate your issue. I'm sorry I didn't note you ..? Uh..? I just didn't want to confront the issue that I was going through majority of the time, and on top of the fact that dA was blocked at the Library and thus I rarely got on at all, when ever I was on I was never on long enough to go through all my notes and messages. I have well over 30 unread notes, and a fucking ton more comments that I haven't gone through and taken the time out to reply to. Then on top of that, I feel fucking awful because people have done fan art for me or adoptables that I've yet to comment and show my appreciation toward because of the lack of time. Trust me, if I had it my way, I'd have it all done, but I'm alas incapable. If you can't forgive me, continue with your grudge, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

PPS; It probably would have been a mature thing to take the time out to note about the commissions than publicly bitch about it on my journal, but I figured I'd be childish for once because the whole ordeal irks me, aaand they went out of their way to audaciously bitch about it on my front page

SOOOO I guess IDGAF lololol</sup>