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I picked my poison well by ~zugestimmt:iconzugestimmt:

Categories Digital Art > Drawings > People

©2008-2010 ~zugestimmt
:iconzugestimmt:

Artist's Comments

We all need a little rainbow in our diet {:
"Can you tell that I picked my poison well, that I have no more to sell to you? Is it really that important that I settle down? Does it really even matter that I have my doubts? I search for the one who bleeds, I reach for the one who bleeds like me."
'Bleed like Me,' Trapt

I'm shouting this nukka out. I had an old shouts page, but times change.

I change.

It needed updated.

I'll repeat like last time: if you hate me for the things I do
such as premarital sex, partying habits, the fact that I love getting trashed;
well.. I guess you never liked me at all to begin with.
So I don't think I would care at all.


I'm not perfect. I have my faults, we all do.

Don't judge me.


----

► I'm /CHRISTIAN/
I honestly don't give a crap what you think about that.
I'm not closed minded, au contrair. I love a good debate. It's rather amusing to me that atheists are some of the most closed minded people I have ever met. It's funny because they 'preach' that Christians are so heavily closed minded and defensive, but really.. I've never met one Atheist that gave me a nice open minded religious debate. I do love how I've been told I might as well believe in fairies though.. haha.
► I'm as sarcastic as they get. I'm told I'm passive aggressive, hahaha that made me laugh.
► Every single person I've ever held close to my heart has betrayed me in one form or another. I have EXTREME trust issues. I rarely let anyone come close to me anymore. People wonder why I get so angry? But I've recently been told that 'to get I need to give', so maybe that's my issue all along.
► My love is almost always unrequited. It seems like I have a fondness for anyone that doesn't return my feelings, and once they do I walk away. For some reason I'm attracted to those who destroy me the most, I hate it, I don't mean for it at all but it happens. The one person I have finally confessed to myself that I loved couldn't care less if I existed or not. He tells me differently, of course, ohhh! How sycophantic he can be, it's DISGUSTING. But I know these are lies, and it doesn't help that every other person I know shoves it down my throat every chance they get how he truly feels about me. It sucks, but I would rather him in my life one way than not at all, so I deal with his deceit.
► I've been told I go through friends like used tissues.
There's only been one friend in my life I've ever had any real loyalty to. I have problems caring for people, only a select few ever make it to the depths of my heart. It sucks so bad, I hate that too. Because even those people always find a way to rip me apart and tear me from the inside out, but being the tool that I am I'll pick my self back up, put a smile on my face and continue for the idealism of what they were and what I hope they'll be again. I'm almost a contradiction in that aspect. I can be such an apathetic prick, the meanest crudest of all bitches imaginable with no remorse, or care; if anything I get a sick form of pleasure from it, almost sadistic. But on the other side of the stick I can be the most empathetic, sweetest, most sacrificial person in existence.
► I fucking LOVE music.
It's my escape. It's my link to memories. It's almost like a sense of smell for me, ohhh how they remind me of certain moments. I'll blast the same song over and over, just laying on my floor.
thinking.
remembering.
► I get random impulses to punch things.
Sometimes it's almost feels impossible to keep composure. I don't know why, it's not always out of anger? I can just be somewhere, minding my own business and there it'll hit me, some desire to throw my fist against a wall. It'll almost become obsessive, I'll practically crave it.

.. perhaps that's why when I get so trashed I wake up the next morning with my knuckles in ruins.

► I have an extremely addictive personality.
Normally I can vent it toward something else but sometimes I can even get addicted to people to where if I go long periods without hanging out or chilling with anyone, I'll feel physically sick, and my mind will be so thwarted and screwed up I can't concentrate until I get my 'fix'.

► I'm so jaded in the aspects of love.
I'm almost afraid of it, to the point where I myself am afraid of commitment, just the whole aspect of allowing some one to get close to me. I don't know if I would know how to deal with it anymore? I used to believe I was the type that couldn't exist without a relationship, but now it's almost as if I'm phobic of one. I just do NOT want one at all. I run into guys, but it's almost as if I see them as simple play things, not anything to take serious. Maybe that's why I like a guy until he likes me.

I don't know if I'll ever be married. I see it as useless.

Once upon a time I looked forward to the day I would ever have kids, now it's almost as if I never want any at all; if I was to have one it's for selfish reasoning. I've openly confessed that my only interest in having kids would just be out of mere curiosity to see what I could 'come up with' and how they looked. Though, obviously, if I was to have a kid, mistake or not I would grow an extreme attachment towards them, and have a profound love. But considering I don't have that right now all I see is just mere curiosity. Which is why I don't want any.

► I go through frequent personality changes.
I change a lot, I adjust things to fit what's going on with my life because certain situations demand certain ways to deal. As of late, I've been becoming my extremely apathetic self once again. But.. a lot meaner. a lot... meaner. With a lot less patience. Not the best mix. It's amazing though how much I've changed over the years. I'm a completely different person.

► I'm extremely conceited. Narcissistic. Vain. what ever.

► I'm very opinionated.
► I'm a creature of habit.
► I'm grudge holding, even though I hate it when people hold grudges against me.
As well, I'm EXTREMELY!! judgmental and shallow, but again, I hate shallow and judgmental people. What can I say, I'm a hypocrite too. At least I'm self aware?

► I never steal.
► I hate lying and try to keep from it as much as possible.
► I use loopholes a lot.

► I occasionally have a stuttering issue, or at least some form of speech problem
where my sentences are messed up grammatically.

► I pray for protection all the time, to almost OCD standards.
► I think homosexual characters are cliche; and I'd much rather see heteros.
► I've had rumors spread about me.

► When I was little, I used to cry almost every night, afraid of if and when my mother would die.
► I used to act like an animal when I was a child.
I played imagination games with friends, and I always ended up being the 'male'. I hated it.
► It really annoys me when people mock my laugh.

► I've had premarital sex.
It scares me sometimes, I'm actually very religious. I hate the idea of one day being punished over such deeds, you have no idea how much it frightens me. [Which you may find weird considering I habitually destruct my 'Temple'] But again.. like every other bad habit I seem to have, I continue with it. I'm no slut though, mind. I've only slept with a total of three people, I've had plenty of chances to with more, a few somewhat forceful with me, even. But I've been able to slip away from such situations. I'm actually very proud of myself with that.

► I've been arrested before for underage drinking a month before I turned 18, but I wasn't put in jail. I was put on probation though, and had about 16 hours of community service, and as well had to go through counseling ahaha. I ended up doing only 8 hours of service, because I was a good girl. [;

► I'm constantly rocking back and forth, people think I'm crazy.
► I get bored REAL easily. It's a curse. It's almost like I have pseudo-ADD.
► I hate fakes, or other various two faced people. They sicken me so bad.

► Even though I'm Christian that doesn't mean I go to church. I hate it when people claim I'm not religious because of it. I've actually always viewed the Church as corrupt.
► I like to tell hard truths as a joke, but people usually think I'm kidding.
► One day I had sex six times.
► I hate people who feel like they have to take advantage of people's insecurities to make themselves feel better.
► Talk is cheap. I'm a firm believer that actions speak louder than words.
► I have extreme anxiety issues, and a ton of ticks.
► I'm intrigued by the Biblical Apocalypse.
► I've been a victim of racism, and I'm white.
► I'm afraid I won't succeed in a career.
► I read into what people say a lot, and I take things personally even when I shouldn't.
► I'm indecisive.

► Don't give me excuses. I hate hearing them; and I'll lose a ton of respect for you.
► I'm flirtatious to a fault.

► Regret has to be the worst emotion in the world.
There will be time periods in my life where I'll regret something so horribly that I'll feel like I'm on the verge of vomiting for weeks. It's so overly consuming and disheartening, I hate it so much.

► I'm a fucking drunkard.
It's nothing to be proud of, and it's nothing I'm bragging about nor should it be something anyone strives for. It fucking sucks, but no matter how much it does I still will say a weekend without partying is a sad weekend indeed. It's a habit I'm not wanting to quit entirely but I'm hoping to somewhat deplete so it doesn't consume me. It's becoming so bad that the people closest to me now are taking a stand and are threatening me. I'm afraid that even though that shows they care, it'll probably only make my issue worse. Because it'll appeal to me more, and I'll get more and more secretive. Lets look on the bright side though: I've been sober for a week now? I wonder how long this lasts, rofl.

► Sometimes I wonder how I truly come off to people,
and I actually enjoy being given personality analysises from [reliable] sources. That is; being told both positive and negative things. Mostly negative, hah.

► I'm extremely blunt.
► Sleep is for the weak.
► I hate self righteous pricks that think they need to stick their nose into everything, or that they /have/ to express their God-given right to put their two cents into what ever they feel they should, for some odd reason they have this God-complex that they think their opinion truly matters, what the hex evaaaaarrrr!!!1
► I'm scared of heights. Sometimes even just seeing pictures will make my palms sweat.

► I'm thoroughly intrigued by Body Language, and I'm always reading on it.

► I /HATE/ adult swim, and everything dealing with it
I hate those idiotic shows, I don't know how anyone finds it funny. I'm no killjoy, but no matter how wasted I get, no matter what else I do to intoxicate myself, Adult swim is just never funny to me.
What happened to the good stuff? Give me some Monty Python!

► I hate how I can't tell my doctor that I've never smoked.
That used to be my goal in life practically, to be fifty and to go to a new doctor and have him ask me if I've ever smoked. I wanted to tell him, "Never touched one my whole life!"
just to have him get excited and tell me how rare that was. hah. That got ruined one drunken night, I regretted it so bad the next day because he wasn't worth it. I don't know why I keep bending and breaking myself for that prick, but I did again that night, and now it seems to be a trend when ever I drink I'll chain smoke the whole time. Sometimes to even the point where I've been cut off from /cigarettes/. yeah, have you ever heard of /THAT/?? I would throw out cash and they'd go out and buy my packs for me but then eventually they would deny me my own cigarettes, rofl.

Sober I'm a nonsmoker, but inebriated I'm awful.


If you read all of that
lets be BFFz <3 Paris Hilton style!

You should feel special. Even my real BFF IRL doesn't even know some of these things about me.
Image © Me, =zugestimmt ... Concept © =liliy ... Textures [link] [link] [link]

Comments


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:iconcurliee:
!Curliee Oct 19, 2008, 12:24:21 PM
other than not liking seeing gay couples as much as hetero, I respect everything you've said here ghffjgj

this is a really nice picture, too. I'm an emetophobic and it's pretty enough that it didn't even bother me a bit! c:

nice colour choices hurhur<3
:iconsnowballsweets:
=snowballsweets Oct 19, 2008, 12:25:04 PM
OMG amazing. You are my hero.

I'm also a Christian as well and I'm so glad I can share my beliefs with someone on here.

I completely respect you for doing this because I know I probably could not do that aha. I have my own Shout It Out, but it's not as extreme as this! :oops:

I love it. :hug:
:iconinilly:
~iNilly Oct 19, 2008, 12:27:30 PM
I repect everything you said on here.

OMG I HAVEN'T HAD RAINBOW AT ALL AM I GOING TO DIE ? DDD:

Vodka eh?

--
I like picklessss.
:iconzugestimmt:
~zugestimmt Oct 19, 2008, 12:29:45 PM
ROFL I don't mind gay couples
I'm just saying, like sometimes with some people that's like /ALL/ you see

and I'm like DJ;LFKAJSDFA

so when I finally see some one with hetero characters

It's like a breath of fresh air hahaha

but NONONO I'm not like.. homophobic.. or anything. haha.

--
Icon by ~Herzlose ♥♥
:iconzugestimmt:
~zugestimmt Oct 19, 2008, 12:30:32 PM
aww thank youuu ; ^; yeah.. I kind of really elaborated on this one, a lot moar than my previous.

--
Icon by ~Herzlose ♥♥
:iconmisstown:
*MissTown Oct 19, 2008, 12:33:43 PM
aha I'm not religious but like... daaaaaaaaaaamn.
firstly I must say that show is ridiculous and I laughed my butt off the other day.. Paris...

uh...
seriously this is ridiculous and you are amaaaaaaaaazinnnnnnng and people like you make me happy because at least you know what you are, or who you are or some shit.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAWR LAMEASS NAT

--
"How in hell are you going to recognize a legitimate holy man when you see one if you don't even know a cup of consecrated chicken soup when it's right in front of your nose?"
:icongremlinous:
*gremlinous Oct 19, 2008, 12:41:09 PM
I WAS ALWAYS FORCED INTO BEING THE GUY ANIMAL TOO

but i didn't really mind being simba lol.
:iconzugestimmt:
~zugestimmt Oct 19, 2008, 12:42:36 PM
YES, I prefer vodka shots, but the guys I party with usually give me a huge waterbottle and fill it with vodka and tell me to just chug it out of that, rofl. I can be pretty hxc and be without a chaser for the most part, mainly because I know the taste only matters for so long because eventually you don't taste anything ROFL

but I usually like vodka because it gets you drunk a lot faster, with less intake. Like.. I can have about seven or so shots of vodka and be okay for a while.

But if I'll sometimes want to have a slower night and buy bottles of wine instead. Though I can usually chug a whole bottle of wine in seriously less than five minutes. >_>;; I'm a chugger. A huge bottle of wine though can take me a half an hour. But I'll be /WAAAAAAASTED/

but uh

YES

YOU ARE DEPRIVED OF THE RAINBOW


you must

have your fix befoar your LIFE EENDSSS

--
Icon by ~Herzlose ♥♥
:iconzugestimmt:
~zugestimmt Oct 19, 2008, 12:43:27 PM
ty doll face ; ^;

--
Icon by ~Herzlose ♥♥
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