Haha, my boyfriend of going on three years just broke up with me like. yesterday? And is already dating some other wench~

Pretty amusing though, in the fact that through out our whole relationship we had fought about her quite often, with him always trying to tell me there was nothing there, he still tries and says that there wasn't anything ever there, just not until 'recently' when he started to feel detached from me.

Haha, he started dating her with the thought that eventually he'd be coming back to me, but you know what, I'll be shoving my finger in the air to that one. I told him straight up if he dated some one else I wouldn't go out with him again, ever. He said that would be a stupid, selfish mistake, but really isn't leaving me in the first place for some one else a stupid, selfish mistake?

I guess not really, actually.
Because. It's kind of ironic. Well, not really ironic, but somewhat amusing in a really cold way. But it was probably pretty smart of him to leave me.

I haven't felt attracted (Both physically, and mentally) to that screwup for probably over a year now, and I've cheated on him more times than I can count. _{(Still unbeknown to him, I was planning on telling him yesterday but he ceased to return my calls. His loss, rofl. I'm sure he'll fall his good graces on this journal and read it. I know his new gee-eff is on my watch list, so she'll at least come across it, haha)} Probably almost sounds like a double standard though, considering I told him I wouldn't date him again if he dated some one else, though I am behind the scenes having my own rendezvous. I guess I'm a pretty cold person? Because all of it was done guiltless and without conscience.

Haha, so it's good that it's over. All we really did was fight anymore anyways~

Everyone who knew me and somewhat of our relationship would always tell me to leave him, and my best friend who knew of my shenanigans would as well always tell me to leave him, and I always kind of wanted to leave him, but I never did. He was I guess a title to me. Some one there that I knew by default I would have to talk to when no one else was going to be there. I basically used him for I don't know how long, rofl.

I swear my life is a soap opera. [; Full of wrecklessness, drama, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock and roll. ROFLLLLLLdj;asdklfa had to say it sorry, I really feel mentally drained and dull at the moment so I probably don't make much sense. {: I just figured I'd lament because there isn't much else for me to talk about.

Oh, if it wasn't one misery after another, haha, I came down with strep throat earlier in the week and was like. Bed ridden for a few days till finally I went to the doctors because my throat got so swollen I couldn't eat for four days, everything I ate kept getting stuck in my throat~ XD

BUT. I'm a lot better now.
I actually am wishing Ryan or Kyle would call me tonight so we could all go out and have a good time. And celebrate my new single status. {:

Well actually, haha, I've been telling everyone that had I declared myself single for the past month.
Whoops. [;

I felt like I was single.
So that should at least count for something, haha


The song by Imogen Heap, "Hide and seek" actually fits my situation so perfectly, it's almost creepy. {: You should like. download it.


Welp. I guess now I need to open my arms and embrace the inevitability of change, and continue forth to my next chapter in life!!1 <3333 (Melodrama ftw)




Oh by the way this isn't for any 'awwww' or any pity party or anything to be perfectly honest, I don't need pity, I don't deserve pity, I mean, haha, I cheated on the loser fifty kajillion times, we needed to be broken up. That's just a fact of life. {: And really, by that standpoint he's probably the one that needs more pity than anything. I'm just feeling extreme cynicism at the moment, so humor me.